Frustrated With God

With the world we live in, sometimes it’s easy to get frustrated. Just today I was somewhat frustrated at treatment I received from people who decided a few years back that I was a terrible person and wanted to let me know how little they thought of me, and told me pretty much that if God would have removed me from the planet when I was diagnosed with my illnesses, the world would be a better place. There are times when I want to lash out and give an earful to those who believe the things and rumors that were (and still are) spread about me. I told my Daughter a couple of year’s back, “if I believed all the things said about me, I wouldn’t like me either”. But lashing out would only make them feel justified and make them believe the stories even more. So usually, I respond kindly and walk away. The human side of me can be difficult to control at times when faced with morons.


Life presents many opportunities for us to get frustrated. Controlling our emotions is not always an easy task. Sometimes we look at things and even can get frustrated with God because things don’t go the way we want them to.

Being frustrated or angry at God is something that many people have wrestled with throughout time. When something tragic happens in our lives, we ask God the question, “Why?” because it’s our natural response. What we are really asking Him, though, is not so much “Why, God?” as “Why me, God?” This response indicates two flaws in our thinking. First, as believers we operate under the impression that life should be easy, and that God should prevent tragedy from happening to us. When He does not, we get angry with Him. Second, when we do not understand the extent of God’s sovereignty, we lose confidence in His ability to control circumstances, other people, and the way they affect us. Then we get angry with God because He seems to have lost control of the universe and especially control of our lives. When we lose faith in God’s sovereignty, it is because our human bodies and minds are grappling with our own frustration with the lack of control we actually have over events. When good things happen, we all too often attribute it to our own achievements and success. When bad things happen, however, we are quick to blame God, and we get angry with Him for not preventing it, which indicates the first flaw in our thinking—that we, as Christians, deserve to be immune to unpleasant circumstances.

Frustration with God, His ways and His dealings with us is one of the major stumbling blocks for all Christians. It’s good to look at the Bible characters who suffered from this frustration and how they dealt with it. The first person who comes to mind is Abraham who, at seventy-five years old, in simple obedience to God, rose up with all his family, servants, flocks and herds, and left his home and his country to journey to an unknown location God would inform him of (Genesis 12). All he had was God’s promise of great blessing in return for his obedience and faith, and as a result he became the father of the Hebrew nation.

The most significant part of God’s blessing to Abraham was the promise of a son, as his wife Sarah had been barren (Genesis 15:4). To a man of his day this was a tremendous blight on his life and to his wife a disgrace, so that far beyond any promises of riches and victory over his enemies, this was the most momentous and welcome promise of all.

However, just like you and I, Abraham had human weaknesses, and the faith of even this great man of God faltered at times. The years went by and he had just celebrated his eighty-fifth birthday. Sarah herself was seventy-five and well beyond the age of child bearing, so it is hardly surprising that Abraham’s faith in the promise of a son began to waver. Finally God caused Sarah to become pregnant and Isaac, the true son of the promise, was born (Genesis 21:1-3).

Another whose story is well known is Jonah, a man who knew only too well what it was to be frustrated with the Lord. Jonah also heard from God, but didn’t like what he heard (Jonah 1:1-3a). God told him he was to go and warn the horrible people of the city of Nineveh that if they didn’t change their ways God would destroy them, but that His love and forgiveness awaited them if they repented. Jonah, didn’t like the idea that the God of the Hebrews could possibly care about this godless and violent people, and after doing all he could to get out of his appointed task, finally obeyed God. He proclaimed God’s message to the Ninevites, but was convinced that they would not listen and he would have the satisfaction of seeing them slaughtered by a vengeful God. Not only did they ruin his plans by responding with total repentance (Jonah 3:5-10), but Jonah wasn’t even allowed to keep the gourd plant that had grown up and sheltered him so comfortably from the blazing sun during the day (Jonah 4:7). Jonah’s seething fury of frustration with God now knew no bounds.

Is being mad or frustrated with God always a sign of disrespect? First, remember that God created you with emotions, and often those emotions are very hard to control. You're not a robot. You have needs and wants that you try to satisfy. When you can't get your needs met, you will feel angry and frustrated.

Is God offended at that? Does He want to send a lightning bolt down and blast you off the face of the earth? If that were true, there would be millions of scorch marks all over the planet, because that's how many people are angry at God.

Several years back, I was going through a painful and unwanted divorce, I became very angry at God. I had done my best to live a Christian life. I knew that I wasn't perfect, of course, but I had done my best to follow God's teachings and commandments. During that time, a wise pastor friend told me that it was all right to be mad at God.

"Tell Him. He's big. He can take it," he said.
He told me that God wants us to be honest with Him. He wants you to pour out your heart to Him. He wants you to bring all your hurt and disappointment to Him and lay it at His feet. When you're angry and frustrated, it's always right to express that to God and to tell Him why.

We forget that God knows and understands us better than we know ourselves. Also, even though we're in pain, God always has a tremendous love for us. We always underestimate God's love and compassion for us.

It's only when you're completely honest with God that your prayers take on real power. It's often been said that you can't solve a problem until you recognize that there is a problem.

When you pour out your heart to God, you experience a sense of relief. You take what had been your problem and put it in his hands. Now it's his problem, and you know what? A great song by VeggieTales is “God is Bigger Than the Boogeyman”, and God is always bigger than your problems.

When we give our worries over to God, you begin to take your eyes off your problem and put them on God. Your perspective changes and instead of struggling alone, you turn the matter over to the almighty God of the universe, who knows all and controls all.

God can take it! If God is who he claims to be, then he understands my anger, my frustration. If God is who he claims to be, he will not take my outrage personally. He is bigger than that! God can look into our hearts and see our pain. I think God can even feel our pain. He who knew the agony of the cross shares our suffering with us.

Through the years, since I have experience with it, God has given me the opportunity to speak with parents who had lost children to cancer, or car wrecks, or whatever - it didn't matter how the child died. I cannot think of any greater pain for someone than to lose a child. And so often we have only questions without answers. We have anger, we have pain. At those times, I tried to give parents permission to be mad at God. Question Him, ask for information from Him. You can even go out and shake your fist at heaven. Yell and scream. God can take it.

I found it interesting in dealing with grieving parents that those who had some sort of faith or belief system always fared better those whose who had no faith. I think people of faith fared better because they had someplace to direct their questions, someplace to direct their frustration. Plus, they had a hope that on a much larger divine scale life made sense.

Everything that happens is either caused by or allowed by God. As it says in Matthew, not a sparrow falls to the ground nor a hair from our head without God knowing about it (Matthew 10:29-31). We can flail about, get angry, and lash out and blame God for what is happening. Yet if we will trust Him and yield our bitterness and pain to Him, acknowledging the prideful sin of trying to force our own will over His, He can and will grant us His peace and strength to get us through any difficult situation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Many Christians can testify to that very fact. We can be angry with God for many reasons, so we all have to accept at some point that there are things we cannot control or even understand with our finite minds.

Our understanding of the sovereignty of God in all circumstances must be accompanied by our understanding of His other attributes: love, mercy, kindness, goodness, righteousness, justice, and holiness. When we see our difficulties through the prism of God’s Word—which tells us that our loving and holy God works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28), and that He has a perfect plan and purpose for us which cannot be thwarted (Isaiah 14:24, 46:9-10)—we begin to see our problems in a different light. We also know from Scripture that this life will never be one of continual joy and happiness. Rather, Job reminds us that “man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward” (Job 5:7) and that life is short and “full of trouble” (Job 14:1). Just because we come to Christ for salvation from sin does not mean we are guaranteed a life free from problems. In fact, Jesus said, “in this world you will have trouble” but that He has “overcome the world” (John 16:33), enabling us to have peace within, in spite of the storms that rage around us (John 14:27).

One thing is certain: inappropriate anger is sin (Galatians 5:20; Ephesians 4:26-27, 31; Colossians 3:8). Ungodly anger is self-defeating, gives the devil a foothold in our lives, and can destroy our joy and peace if we hang on to it. Holding onto our anger will allow bitterness and resentment to spring up in our hearts. We must confess it to the Lord and then in His forgiveness we can release those feelings to Him. We must go before the Lord in prayer often in our grief, anger, and pain. The Bible tells us in 2 Samuel 12:15-23 that David went before the throne of grace on behalf of his sick baby, fasting, weeping, and praying for him to survive. When the baby passed away, David got up and worshipped the Lord, and then told his servants that he knew where his baby was and that he would someday be with him in God’s presence. David cried out to God during the baby’s illness, and afterward he kneeled before Him in worship. That is a wonderful testimony. God knows our hearts and it is pointless to try to hide how we really feel, so talking to Him about it is one of the best ways to handle our grief. If we do so humbly, pouring out our hearts to Him, He can work through us and in us while we are completely broken, and in the process will make us more like Him.

The bottom line is can we trust God with everything, our very lives and the lives of our loved ones? Of course we can! Our God is compassionate, full of grace and love, and as disciples of Christ we can trust Him with all things. When tragedies happen to us we know God can use them to bring us closer to Him and to perfect our faith, bringing us to maturity and completeness (Psalm 34:18; James 1:2-4), so we can be a comforting testimony to others (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). That is easier said than done, though. It requires a daily surrendering of our own will to His, a faithful study of His attributes as seen in God’s Word, much prayer, and then applying what we learn to our own situation. By doing so, our faith will eventually grow and mature enough to make it easier to trust Him to get us through the next tragedy that most certainly will take place.

A great book that is useful for dealing with our frustrations, anger, and questions for God is: “Disappointment with God” by Philip Yancey.
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Genesis 15:4 (New King James Version) – And behold, the word of the LORD came to him, saying, “This one shall not be your heir, but one who will come from your own body shall be your heir.”

Genesis 21:1-3(NKJV) – And the LORD visited Sarah as He had said, and the LORD did for Sarah as He had spoken. For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him. And Abraham called the name of his son who was born to him—whom Sarah bore to him—Isaac.

Jonah 1:1-3(NKJV) – Now the word of the LORD came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry out against it; for their wickedness has come up before Me.” But Jonah arose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the LORD. He went down to Joppa, and found a ship going to Tarshish; so he paid the fare, and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish from the presence of the LORD.


Jonah 3:5-10(NKJV) – So the people of Nineveh believed God, proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest to the least of them. Then word came to the king of Nineveh; and he arose from his throne and laid aside his robe, covered himself with sackcloth and sat in ashes. And he caused it to be proclaimed and published throughout Nineveh by the decree of the king and his nobles, saying, Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste anything; do not let them eat, or drink water. But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily to God; yes, let every one turn from his evil way and from the violence that is in his hands. Who can tell if God will turn and relent, and turn away from His fierce anger, so that we may not perish?


Then God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God relented from the disaster that He had said He would bring upon them, and He did not do it.

Jonah 4:7(NKJV) – But as morning dawned the next day God prepared a worm, and it so damaged the plant that it withered.


Matthew 10:29-31(NKJV) – Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.


I Corinthians 10:13(NKJV) – No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

Romans 8:28 (NKJV) – And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Isaiah 14:24 (NKJV) - The LORD of hosts has sworn, saying, “ Surely, as I have thought, so it shall come to pass, and as I have purposed, so it shall stand”:


Isaiah 46:9-10 (NKJV) - Remember the former things of old, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not yet done, Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure,’


Job 5:7 (NKJV) - Yet man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward.


Job 14:1 (NKJV) - “Man who is born of woman is of few days and full of trouble”.


John 16:33 (NKJV) - These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

John 14:27 (NKJV) - Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Galatians 5:20 (NKJV) - idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NKJV) - “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.

Ephesians 4:31 (NKJV) - Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

Colossians 3:8 (NKJV) - But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.

2 Samuel 12:15-23 (NKJV) - Then Nathan departed to his house.


And the LORD struck the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and it became ill. David therefore pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. So the elders of his house arose and went to him, to raise him up from the ground. But he would not, nor did he eat food with them. Then on the seventh day it came to pass that the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said, “Indeed, while the child was alive, we spoke to him, and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do some harm!”

When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” And they said, “He is dead.”


So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. Then his servants said to him, “What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food.”

And he said, “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who can tell whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”

Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) - The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.

James 1:2-4 (NKJV) - My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.


2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NKJV) - Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.