What to do When My Prayer Life Seems Stagnant?
We’ve all been there; there have been times that I’ve just not felt like praying. After all, God knows me, He knows my problems, He knows my needs, He knows my past, and He knows my future. What is the purpose behind me praying and asking God for my wants/needs/desires/requests when He already knows them? Am I going to surprise Him by some of my requests? Does He not know some of my needs?
Maybe you feel like something it too trivial to ask or that a situation is hopeless so there’s no need to ask. Maybe you’ve prayed for years about a situation and it appears that God’s ignored it so why keep asking about it?
Do you feel like your prayer life is stagnant? Like you're saying the same things to God that you did when you first started praying?
I completely understand, I’ve prayed for several items for many years and have yet to see any indication that God will intervene and work in the requests I’ve sent up to Him.
* my Dad has had a health issue since the late 80’s
* my Brother has had several issues for over 30 years that I’ve been
in prayer over
* my Children have been under an extremely negative influence for
over four years
And the list goes on. I’ve prayed for God’s help, guidance, and direction in all of these (and several other) matters and have seen only minimal improvement in the situations.
So what are the options? Give up, forget about them, ignore them, or continue praying in the hopes that some day God will intervene and work in either me or the situations I’ve been in prayer over?
Just as young children slowly learn to communicate in more and more complex ways, so Christians should move from simply crying out to God to a mature, developed prayer life. There are times that God wants to answer our requests by not changing the situations, but by changing us.
There are a number of good books available on prayer. Some want you to go to a place of quiet solitude and spend several hours a day in prayer. Though in actuality it’s a great idea, with the modern lifestyle we have, that’s not always an easy option. The practice requires a change in our lifestyle to make ourselves set aside the time daily to accomplish this. The practice also requires discipline, atmosphere, training, teaching and finally plenty of good will. This type of prayer can turn out to be just a practice rather than life. By this I mean, there can be a tendency and a habit that is formed to spend daily two hours without really getting into life situation with the effect of such prayer. However it also can be a life changing event that can help us reach others by the passion and desire the Lord can give us by our close relationship with Him.
You don’t always have to find a quiet time and place to be in prayer. Many times while I’m driving I end up talking with God. As you can understand, that’s not a good time to bow your head and close your eyes in prayer. Does that mean God ignores my prayers because I wasn’t in the traditionally accepted practice of prayer? Of course not, bowing our heads and closing our eyes in a sign of reverence to God, but it isn’t a requirement of God. Most pictures of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane portray Jesus as kneeling and looking up to heaven with His eyes open.
A couple of recommendations for your prayer time:
* find a good time of the day, morning or evening
* find a place that is removed from distractions for you
Remember that you can pray at anytime or anyplace. God loves to hear from us and is available 24/7 365.
Hindrances to our prayer life
Remember in the old days when you had a phone at the house and called someone? There were times when there was a lot of static on the telephone and you couldn’t hear the person you were talking to. You’d hang up the telephone, call them back and many times that would clear up the problem. It was just a bad connection.
That can happen in our communication with God. We pray to God but there may be things in our lives that cause interference with our connection. It could be due to un-confessed sin, broken relationships, or issues you may be harboring toward other Christians.
Isaiah 1:13-15 (NIV)
Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me.
New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations - I cannot bear your evil assemblies.
Your New Moon festivals and your appointed feasts my soul hates.
They have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them.
When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you;
even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen.
Your hands are full of blood;
If there are any sins you have that you haven’t asked God for forgiveness of, it causes “static” in our communication line with Him. However, God is willing to forgive you of those shortcomings if you tell Him about them and ask Him to forgive you of them.
1 John 1:9 (NIV)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
When we confess these issues and turn them over to God, He resets the telephone line and once again the line of communication with Him is crystal clear.
Developing a Daily Habit of Devotion and Prayer Time
The Christian life is one of growth and maturation--and just as with natural growth, we move through stages. Were you suddenly to find yourself taking first grade classes, you would find them quite boring, and would learn nothing from them; yet it isn't that you don't still have much to learn, but that you need to move on to other lessons, other classes. Long ago you learned to crawl; and once you learned to walk, you did much less crawling. It is that way with your Christian life.
Devotion
Find a good reliable translation of the Bible that is easy for you to understand. If needed, check with your pastor for some guidance on this. I grew up with the King James Version(KJV) and when I recite verses, it’s usually the KJV that I quote. When studying for a message now, I primarily use the New International Version(NIV) as it is a good translation that contains a more modern wording of the English language. Steer clear of paraphrases, though they can also be easy to read, they can be quite inaccurate.
Make some time daily for a "devotional" time. How much time? That depends, I would say that you should set aside at least half an hour, probably an hour, each day - but if that's problematic, you might start with fifteen minutes each day. But what should you do? Well, there are a lot of possibilities, and you should try things until you find something that works. I would definitely include some type of Bible reading/study/memorization.
Memorizing is an important part of it. There are a lot of programs which will help you memorize the verses they think are important; but it's far better to memorize those which have meaning to you. Repeat these verses to yourself, and consider what they mean. Find someone else with whom you can share your discoveries, and ask them to share their thoughts with you about the verses you've learned and about whatever they are learning.
Prayer
One of the greatest things about God is that He wants to be your friend and have a personal relationship with you. When praying, you don't have to be formal; just talk to God. Especially, don't try to use some kind of old English "special" language--most people massacre the old English anyway. Talk to God as you would talk to your ideal friend, to whom you could tell everything and ask anything.
Worship
As most people know, I have a unique voice. How we sound when we worship is not as important as why we worship. Though it may not sound perfect, God loves it anyway. Worship is also part of the process of getting to know God. Sing songs, pray, tell God how great He is, give thanks for all things. You probably know many songs which would be worshipful were you to consider what you were singing; but you shouldn't limit yourself to songs you know. Take the feelings and the thoughts you have about the greatness of God and the grace you've received, and speak them in your own words, and sing them to melodies you create.
Finally, look for people who share your faith, and share your faith with them. Also, if opportunities to share your faith with unbelievers present themselves (formally or informally), take them. You might feel that you aren't the right person for this, or that you don't know enough or can't answer the questions you might be asked, but that's not the way of things. You have things to share, and there are people who need to hear them, and God will take care of bringing you together with them if you put yourself in a place to meet them. Don't worry about what you'll say, or what you said. Just believe that God wants to use you, and will show you the way.
Over the years my prayer life has grown and changed a lot, and I trust it will continue to expand and deepen the rest of my life. In our prayer life we talk to God and we listen to God, but prayer is also communication at a deeper level. It is communication of such a fine quality that it is true communion with God.
Remember: The process of change is essentially the process of altering your habit patterns. If you do something once, you can do it twice. Do it twice and you can do it three times. Do it three times, and you’re beginning to make a habit of it.
Strive to have a closer walk with God by spending time with Him daily, you’ll be glad you did!
Personal prayer, it seems to me, is one of the simplest necessities of life, as basic to the individual as sunshine, food and water-- and at times, of course, more so. By prayer I mean an effort to get in touch with God. We know that our prayers are imperfect; of course they are as we are imperfect human beings. A thousand experiences have convinced me beyond room of doubt that prayer multiplies the strength of the individual and brings within the scope of his capabilities almost any conceivable objective. - Dwight D. Eisenhower
Luke 11:1-10 (NIV)
One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples."
He said to them, "When you pray, say:
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name,
Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us each day our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one"
Then He said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.'
Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.
So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
